VOL. 1, TRACK 17: TOTO COELO, “I EAT CANNIBALS”

All I could think about while I was watching Toto Coelo’s “I Eat Cannibals” music video was how much fun it would have been to be a member of Toto Coelo, back in the early ‘80s. Let’s see, they’ve got a redhead, a blonde, and three brunettes, but do they have a fun-loving 45-year-old single mom with great legs and the heart of a performance artist? See, I think I could really shine in this kind of video. The choreography’s not too difficult, the song’s range isn’t too hard to sing, and I’m sure I’d blend right in with the other five Glamazons here. Just give me a shiny, skimpy costume and a pair of nylons. Footwear TBD.

The other thing I was thinking about was that the members of Toto Coelo, along with this song, probably did not get the attention they deserved, back in the ‘80s. And why not? It’s a great track, and a little subversive, which of course is very New Wave. I mean, we all know that cannibals eat people, but how many people eat cannibals? LOL, fuck cannibals! They suck!

See, that’s the New Wave spirit I’m talking about. If you can’t beat ‘em, eat ‘em.

And finally, the last thing I was thinking about, when I watched this video, was what a dumb name Toto Coelo is. Why is it so hard to pronounce? Points off for being unnecessarily complicated. I’ll give the girls an 8/10 for this delightful piece of New Wave fluff, regardless.

💘